yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
