That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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