dude i'm inner monologue high
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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