Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
