Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
