in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
