Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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