did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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