I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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