It's Friday. Sex?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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