im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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