he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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