You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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