I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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