There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
