It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
