Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
