your parents love me but you hate me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Non-Jews are for practice
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Randomize
