if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
