This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
