Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
