don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
