you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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