i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
