but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
