your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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