we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
