is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
