Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
