so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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