Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
