i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
