If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
