dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
