Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
