just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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