D3 body, D1 cock
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
