So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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