dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
