i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
