ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
