Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
