Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I believe in your delicious
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize