We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
