sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
