Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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