I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
