I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize