At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this just has baby written all over it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
