oh god the rape fog is back!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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