I feel like abortions should bother me more
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize