: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
