HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
