Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
They have beer where we have blood.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize