it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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