i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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