I want to have your abortion
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
