This is not my ceiling
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize