I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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