Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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