So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize