She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
