What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
