She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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