Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Couch. On fire.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
