Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize