Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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