Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize